


One-Night Runaway

by johnny cade (johnnycake)



Series: Switchblades and Leather [16]
Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: CSA, M/M, Rape, very heavily implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-15 23:51:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14800313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnycake/pseuds/johnny%20cade
Summary: There's a rainstorm in Tulsa and when it's over Johnny runs away.





	One-Night Runaway

**Author's Note:**

> hmmm strangely i have nothing to say about this except though i didn't use archive warnings because nothing it outright said, big trigger warning for heavily implied sexual assault near the beginning. the rest is pretty tame, but yeah.

It was a warm night at the end of May. It had been raining hard all day, so everyone had been locked inside and that included Johnny. He would go out if the rain wasn’t that hard, preferring to get a little wet rather than stay stuck in the house full of people who hated him. But the torrential downpour that had gone on the majority of the day had kept him trapped inside with everyone else, watching the downpour from his bedroom window, hoping it wouldn’t last long enough his parents would start looking for him. But he had no such luck.

At sometime during the evening, his mother had come barging into his room. He’d been reading and she’d been screaming so loud and shrilly that he hadn’t been able to understand anything she was saying. She’d pulled him off his bed and dragged him into the hall, smacking him as hard as she could as he staggered backwards, fear in his eyes as he tried to get away. She hit him so hard he spun around one-hundred and eighty degrees, stumbling into the wall, seeing stars.

He’d recovered quickly, staggering to the living room just in an attempt to get away, but that had been the wrong choice. His father was in the living room, trying to watch something, and when he led his screaming mother into his space, he stood and smacked him as hard as he could on the side of the head, the same as his mother had. Except his father was stronger than his mother and his hardest was much harder than her hardest and this time he fell to the ground when he was hit, lying there for several moments, dazed.

The world spun in circles above him. He saw his parents’ faces swimming above him too. His mother still screaming, though it seemed to be happening in slow motion. His father just glaring down at him and frowning. His mother disappeared for a moment and when she returned she was holding the broom. His eyes widened, still in slow motion, but everything sped up again as she lift the broom handle and it began to fall. He rolled to one side to avoid it, but he rolled into his father, who pulled him to his feet and punched him in the jaw. He had already been able to feel the bruise forming as he fell to the ground again, shaking fingers going up to where his father had hit him, touching it tentatively. But he didn’t have time to worry about that because his mother was on him in an instant, hitting him everywhere she could reach with her broom handle.

Johnny thought about pushing himself to his feet and making a break for the door, but going out in this weather would get him sick and then he’d be trapped in this house for far longer. Instead, he ran for his bedroom. He realized his mistake only when his father followed him and slammed the door behind them. Then Johnny really hadn’t cared about the fact it was raining outside and dove for the window, but his father was bigger and stronger and faster and puled him away from the window and threw him down onto the bed.

Now, back in the present, his eyes squeezed shut involuntarily and he staggered back a couple of steps, a hand pressed to his mouth to keep him from gagging or outright vomiting as he thought about what had happened next. How long it had lasted. The rain had gone on for a long time. Too long. Hours and hours. He kept fading in and out of awareness, enjoying the moments he was somewhere else, dreading the moments he would return. And by the time it was over and his father was gone, he was lost so deep inside his mind, he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to climb out again. By the time he realized it was over, he also realized he didn’t know how long he’d been lying there, still, in pain, not knowing it had stopped and he was alone again.

Without really knowing what he was doing, he’d cleaned himself and everything else. Maybe he was just so used to doing this by this point it was more muscle memory at this point than anything else. Once everything was clean and he was wearing clean clothes, he’d climbed out of his window, staggered out of his parents’ yard and into the street. He wasn’t really sure where he was headed, but he started down the street towards the Curtis residence. He didn’t know what he was going to do when he got there. He was getting hysterical by this point, muttering to himself, hyperventilating, and cracking his knuckles over and over, his teeth tearing at the dead skin on his lips, then his fingers until they were bleeding and he didn’t even know it.

He had about a quarter of the way to go when the front porch light of the Curtis house flicked on and several of the gang came out onto the porch. He saw Darry and Sodapop first looking confused and then concerned. He staggered backward a couple of steps again and realized distantly they must’ve heard him, but he wasn’t sure how. He hadn’t thought he was being that loud. But that must not have been the case. Steve, Two-Bit, and Ponyboy appeared around Darry’s and Soda’s shoulders. Then Dally pushed himself to the forefront of them all and the look on his face made Johnny afraid too. As far as he knew, he wasn’t making any noise, but the looks on the faces of the gang could all be labeled under some form of unsettled or terrified.

Darry was the one that finally approached him, moving slowly as though he were a frightened animal that might be dangerous. This was a good thing too because Johnny wasn’t really seeing the world around him. Distantly, he knew he was out on the street and his friends were in front of him, looking at him with fear and anxiety in their eyes, but he was trapped in another world. The world he’d just escaped. The world that was his bedroom when his father shared it with him.

He didn’t know he was trying to fight things that weren’t there. He didn’t know he kept muttering things that no one understood. Darry was in front of him, but he didn’t see Darry. He saw his father holding him down and he flung his arms out, trying to hit any part of him that he could reach. Darry caught his hands, but he wrenched out of his grasp with a scream and turning violently on his heel began to run as fast as he could back down the street.

Behind him he heard his friends screaming behind him, but he didn’t know that’s what it was. To him it sounded like his mother’s screaming. There was only one place he could think to go to escape it and he headed for the woods that bordered the vacant lot.

* * *

It wasn’t uncommon for the gang to gather at the Curtis house when the day was done or during events like storms that trapped everyone inside. They’d all wondered where Johnny had been, but for some reason none of them had been worried about him until the rain was over, night had come, and the sky was clear, and they heard something strange out on the street. The living room had gone silent as they’d listened, trying to discern what the unsettling mumbling noises might be.

Dallas was the one who figured it out first and everyone immediately knew as soon as he reacted because only one thing could make the blood from Dally’s face like that: Johnny. Specifically, Johnny in trouble. And for him to be making noises like this...the blood drained from everyone else’s faces too as Darry, who was closest to the door, opened it and stepped out onto the porch. Soda was the second closest to the door and he stepped out after Darry. Steve, Two-Bit, and Ponyboy tried to see around Darry to what was going on in the street below and Dallas pushed right through all of them, having to see his Johnnycake with his own eyes.

A few weeks ago, they’d gone to the Dingo and he’d freaked out when a fight had started, but that was nothing compared to this.

It was very clear Johnny was not seeing the world around him. He staggered back a couple of steps and threw his arms up as though trying to protect his face, crying out as he did so. They fell again almost as quickly and he started mumbling to himself, saying things that made no sense or that Dally didn’t understand. He staggered from one side of the street to the other, tears streaming down his cheeks, sobbing as he mumbled, trapped in memories Dally didn’t want to imagine. And then a worse thought occurred to him: what had happened to him to put him in this state to begin with.

“Is he okay?” Ponyboy asked. He sounded scared and Dally didn’t blame him. He was scared too. He’d never seen Johnny like this before.

“I don’t think so,” Soda replied and for once there wasn’t an ounce of humor in his voice. He looked at Darry. “What d’you think happened?”

Darry had crossed his arms over his chest like he always did when worried. He was biting his lip and shaking his head. “I dunno, Soda,” he said, his voice grim. “But I don’t think I want to either.”

There was a deadly silence after that as they all stared at Johnny, all of them wanting to help him and none of them knowing what to do. Darry’s words left an ominous tone to the air as they all tried to imagine something bad enough that would do this to Johnny. Only Dallas knew what it was and he felt his nails bite into his palms as he grit his teeth.

“I’m gonna go kill ‘em,” he said, his voice soft.

No one seemed to know what he meant, but Darry did. “Dallas, don’t,” he said seriously. “You ain’t gonna be able to help him from prison, you know that. I know how you feel, but we can’t do that.”

Dally really wanted to ask why not, but he knew why not. Darry was right.

There was another silence, but Darry broke it by slowly starting down the stairs of the porch. No one tried to stop him. They all just watched him nervously as he slowly approached Johnny like he were a hurt, wild, and dangerous animal. Dally wondered if Johnny was gone that he would try to hurt one of them if they did the wrong thing at the wrong time. He was willing to bet the answer was yes.  
“Johnny?” he spoke softly, though Dally wasn’t sure Johnny could hear him. “It’s Darry. I dunno what you think you’re seein’, but it ain’t happenin’. You’re safe. You’re with us.”

But it was like Darry hadn’t spoken at all. Johnny kept staggering around the street, his voice rising in volume and then he started tearing at his hair. It really looked like he was just going to rip it from his head, though Dally didn’t think that was what he was going to do. But it was what Darry thought he was going to do. He grabbed Johnny’s hands to stop him, but that was the wrong move.

Johnny screamed, wrenching his arms from Darry’s grip and took off down the block at top speed. Darry followed him, calling after him. They all stood on the porch and watched them disappear, all of them calling after Johnny as he ran. Eventually, Darry came back, but he was alone and he looked scared. When he reached the porch, Dally saw he was shaking.

“I dunno where he went,” he said, not looking up at them. “It was like he turned the corner and disappeared, but...he can’t be alone. I dunno if he’s been drinkin’ or if his folks did somethin’ or what, but with the way he’s actin’ he can’t be alone. We gotta find him. We’ll split up and search for him.”

Nobody argued because everybody agreed. No one knew where Johnny had gotten too, but they all thought it important they find him right away. Steve, Two-Bit, and Darry went in one group and Sodapop, Ponyboy, and Dallas went in another. Darry decided they would search the town in case he’d somehow gotten there, while Ponyboy, Soda, and Dally searched around the neighborhood.

As they watched Darry, Two-Bit, and Steve walk away, Ponyboy said softly, “We ain’t gonna find him if he doesn’t want to be found.”

Soda and Dally didn’t reply. They knew he was right.

* * *

It was a good thing, Johnny thought distantly, that he knew where he was going. The woods were pitch black and he couldn’t see in front of him at all. He was on the path and that was all he knew. He also knew that anything could be creeping up on him right now and he wouldn’t know it until it was too late. His switchblade only worked as a defense if he could see the threat coming, but in this total darkness with no moon and only pinpricks of stars for company, he had no advantage.

He was still staggering all over the place, but his mumbling had been replaced by sobs. He held himself as he walked, unable to see anything in front of him and therefore seeing only his bedroom and what had happened there that afternoon. It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened and he doubted it would be the last. Maybe that was why he was stumbling through the woods, trying to find the one place no one would be able to find him because no one else knew it was there.

After ten more steps, he turned off the trail and began to stumble through the woods. He was going off of memory now. He cracked his knuckles both from nerves and in an attempt to keep himself in the present. Hopefully he hadn’t turned too soon. Hopefully he was going to get to where he thought he was going. And though he hoped for it and was certain he’d gone the right way, he was still surprised when he found what he was looking for.

* * *

Dallas was starting to get desperate. He could tell from the looks on Ponyboy’s and Soda’s faces that they were too. He’d seen in it Darry’s and Steve’s and Two-Bit’s eyes as well when they’d met up with them near town after having checked the vacant lot, the nearby park, and the backyards of all of the gang. Darry, Steve, and Two-Bit had checked the Dingo, the Pine, and a few of their smoking corners. When they split up again, they were headed for the drive-in and then the train yard while Darry, Soda, and Ponyboy were headed back to the vacant lot to see if he’d gone back there.

But he wasn’t there and they all stood, frozen in the lot, staring at the car seat Johnny usually slept on when he didn’t want to sleep at home, the old rusted oil drums he lit fires in to keep warm. It was eerie and terrifying, like he was somehow already dead and gone. The thought alone made Dally flinch and grit his teeth. He clenched his hands into fists, his nails biting so deep into his palms he drew blood, and tried to think where Johnny might have gone.

But nothing came to mind. Everywhere he might’ve gone, they’d already checked. It was like he’d teleported out of Tulsa.

_We ain’t gonna find him if he doesn’t want to be found._

No. Ponyboy had been right about that. They weren’t.

So where would Johnny go if he didn’t want to be found?

And then it clicked and Dally knew immediately.

He started running for the woods. He heard Soda and Ponyboy calling after him, but he shouted at them to stay put. “I know where he is!” he shouted back. “Stay here, I’ll go get him!”

It didn’t take him very long to realize going into the woods without a flashlight was a mistake. Not only could anything in the world walk up on him without him knowing, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to find his way to where he needed to go in the total darkness. But somehow he did and when he came to the place he started at the silhouette he could just barely see of what he had been looking for.

The treehouse had been there for a long time, but Dally hadn’t known about it until Johnny showed it to him a few weeks ago. And thank god he had.

He climbed the swaying rope ladder that led up into the treehouse. He wondered how Johnny had gotten up it without falling the state that he was in and then he remembered that it was so dark for all he knew Johnny could be lying beneath him with a broken neck. The thought made him freeze on the rope ladder, but he decided to search the treehouse first, since he was much smaller than the area around the bottom of the tree.

“Johnny?” he called, his voice soft, barely audible, not wanting to startle him if he were there. He wished the moon were out, so he could at least see _some_ thing in the treehouse.

But then he heard something stir and he pulled himself all the way inside, moving forward slowly on his hands and knees until he bumped into something lying on the floor of the tree house. He didn’t touch it. Even if it were Johnny, startling him that way could get one or both of them hurt.

“Dallas?” the voice was soft and hoarse from sleep and he knew immediately it was Johnny.

He realized with a jolt he didn’t know how long it had been since they’d started searching for Johnny, but it had been long enough he’d fallen asleep. From the tone of his voice, he sounded much more level-headed than he had when he’d run off, but Dally was still wary. “You okay, kid?” he asked, his voice still soft and tentative.

There was a long breath as Johnny yawned. “I’m okay,” he said sleepily. There was a silence and then he spoke again, his voice barely more than a whisper, “Sorry I freaked y’all out so bad earlier with me freakin’ out. It wasn’t anythin’ serious.”

“Johnnycake,” Dally’s voice was soft and sad. “When are we gonna stop lyin’ to each other?”

There was another silence, this one long before Johnny replied in a whisper, “I don’t wanna worry you, Dal. Y’all have got a lot to worry about already without havin’ to worry about me too.”

“But we already _do_ worry about you, Johnnycake,” Dallas replied, his own voice soft. “D’you know the entire gang is out right now? Lookin’ for you? And you know why? Cause they didn’t want you to be alone when they saw how bad you were freakin’ out. They love you, kid! You’re the pet! They worry about you cause they love you too!”

Johnny was silent again. “I’m sorry I made y’all worry.”

But Dally was already shaking his head. “No, Johnny, that’s my _point_. You ain’t gotta apologize for when we worry about you cause we don’t _mind_ worryin’ about you. We _gotta_. Your folks don’t.”

Johnny was silent yet again and Dally wished again for the moon, so he could at least see the shadow of the expression on Johnny’s face. He heard him sniff and wondered if he were crying. Johnny cried a lot more than people thought he did, but he was still surprised every time he heard him cry. He hardly ever cried when his folks hurt him.

Which reminded Dally of what had gotten them here to begin with.

“What happened, kid?” he asked, his voice barely more then a whisper. “What freaked you out that bad? We ain’t ever seen you like that before. It scared us.”

The treehouse was quiet for a long time before Johnny finally said, “I was trapped inside all day cause it was rainin’. I was hopin’ it would stop before my folks realized I was still home, but...it didn’t. My ma came into my room screamin’ about...somethin’. I still ain’t sure what about. But...I ran into the living room and then my old man started in on me and he...” He trailed off, but he didn’t have to finished for Dallas to know what he meant.

“I knew it,” he replied, his voice still barely audible. “I fuckin’ knew it. I wanted to go kill him when you first showed up at the house, but Darry stopped me. I ain’t gonna do it,” he added quickly before Johnny could deter him from it as well, “but I still wanna do it. You don’t deserve the shit he puts you through, Johnny. And for a father to do that to their own kid...it’s disgusting.”

Dallas was sure if there _were_ moonlight shining through the windows, he would see Johnny shaking badly. He couldn’t see where he was and he knew Johnny couldn’t see him either. That was what kept him from crossing the distance. He wasn’t sure if Johnny would take it as an attack or not. And after what had happened earlier, he wasn’t going to risk it.

“Maybe I asked for it,” he heard Johnny whisper and at first he wasn’t sure he’d heard right because how could he ever think what had happened was his fault? But then it registered in his mind and he frowned, trying to control the anger in his voice as he said sternly, “Don’t say that. You know as well as I do that it ain’t your fault. You didn’t do nothin’ to deserve it. Your father is a sick man.”

“But how do you know?” Johnny’s voice was still thin and high-pitched.

“Because I know, Johnny,” he replied. “You’re the kindest, most gentle person I know. There ain’t nothin’ you’ve ever done to deserve that kinda treatment. And there’s nothin’ you _could_ do to deserve it. Your folks are supposed to love and take care of you, not treat you like shit.”

Johnny sniffed again and didn’t reply and after a moment Dally added, “C’mon. Let’s go back to the Curtis’s place. Everyone’s gonna be there worried sick about you.”

He heard Johnny move forward slowly as though he were made of molasses and Dally slowly started down the rope ladder, waiting at the bottom for Johnny in case he fell or needed help. When he heard him drop down beside him, he reached out for him and felt Johnny catch his fingers in his own. Dally felt a jolt run up his spine as he felt their fingers touch. He felt Johnny clutch his hand, not wanting to lose him in the darkness as they headed back towards the vacant lot and he found himself wishing that the walk would never end.

Soda and Ponyboy were right where they left them along with Darry, Steve, and Two-Bit. Everyone was sitting around a fire someone had built, but when they saw Dallas and Johnny coming out of the woods, they all stood. None of them rushed to greet Johnny. He didn’t like being touched all that much and especially not by more than one person at a time and after what had just happened, all of them were afraid of setting him off again too.

Johnny didn’t see any of this. He was looking at the ground.

“Where was he?” Darry asked.

“A treehouse hidden in the woods,” Dally replied. He didn’t want to give up Johnny’s safe space, but if this happened again and he wasn’t here, they needed to know how to find him.

No one asked anymore questions. They all slowly stood and headed for the Curtis house.

Dally didn’t let go of Johnny’s hand. Not even when they first reached the vacant lot, not when they headed for the Curtis house, and not when they walked through the door and sat down on the couch side by side. He didn’t let go of Johnny’s hand the entire night. Not even when they both fell asleep on the couch, leaning against each other.

And no one said anything about it.

Not because they didn’t notice and not because they were ignoring it.

But because as far as they were all concerned, things had always been this way. It had just taken some time for reality to become physically manifested.

**Author's Note:**

> as always kudos and comments keep me going ;-; pls give me suggestions for one-shots as well if you have any!!


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